When people call, they too often say, "Oh, I hear your cat." Or worse, "What are you doing to the cat?" You've heard his voice. This is what he looks like..
People who don't know him, who have never met him, who have never heard him, say, "Oh, he talks. He says, 'Meow'. That's nice." Those who have heard him, know that he doesn't say, "Meow". "Meow" is probably not in his vocabulary.
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When he speaks, he enunciates in complete sentences creating fully composed paragraphs expounding upon specific ideas. Worse yet, his verbose dissertations require a response. If you try to ignore him, he speaks louder and more insistently, and will begin to stamp his feet in frustration. Or, worse yet, he will climb on the marble table and become eye level in order to talk in your face. He is candy sweet, he is furball lovable, and he talks. Big time.
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What he actually sounds like is a lost dialect of Chinese. If someone had ever asked us whether we would have liked a 'talking cat' we would have replied emphatically, "Oh, yes! Please!!"
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He also does other bad things. He steals pincushions and he sucks on Orchid's underwear.
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Do not ever wish for a talking cat.
