It's Christmas. This year, it isn't white, but some good things never change. Like the humor. Along with cheer, our humor is high..
As Santa's cookies are baking, I'm taking a moment to share with you something which is causing us to laugh and laugh.
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While perusing a local publication from the Florida Keys the other day, my husband burst out laughing and said, "Cat, did you read this?" I said, "No. I hadn't gotten to it yet." He said, "Okay. You'll never believe it. I'll read it to you. It's about shit." I said, "What?! In the public paper?" He said, "Listen. It's great. And we mustn't lose it. Are you ready?"
Verbatim from the Florida Keys monthly publication, a dining and entertainment guide, Time Out Magazine is the following:
"The Most Functional English Word
Well, it's SHIT... that's right, SHIT! You can SMOKE shit, BUY shit, SELL shit, LOSE shit, FIND shit, FORGET shit, and tell others to EAT shit! Some people know their shit, while others can't TELL THE DIFFERENCE between shit and SHINEOLA! There are DUMB shits, LUCKY shits and CRAZY SHITS! There is BULLSHIT, HORSE shit and CHICKEN shit! You can THROW shit, SLING shit, CATCH shit, SHOOT the shit, or duck when the shit HITS THE FAN! You can GIVE a shit or serve SHIT ON A SHINGLE! You can find yourself in DEEP shit or be happier than a PIG IN SHIT! Some days are colder than shit, some hotter than shit and some just plain SHITTY! Some music SOUNDS like shit, things can LOOK LIKE SHIT, and there are times when you FEEL LIKE shit! You can have TOO MUCH shit, not ENOUGH shit, the RIGHT shit, the WRONG shit or a lot of WEIRD shit! You can CARRY shit, have a MOUNTAIN of shit or find yourself UP SHIT CREEK WITHOUT A PADDLE! Sometimes everything you touch TURNS TO shit and other times you FALL in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a ROSE! When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language. And remember, once you KNOW YOUR SHIT, you don't need to know anything else!! WELL, SHIT, IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GO. JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT I GIVE A SHIT and hope you have a nice day, without a BUNCH OF SHIT! But, if you happened to catch a LOAD of shit from some SHITHEAD ... WELL, SHIT HAPPENS!!!"
A Merry Christmas to all. And to all, a Good Night.
