Thursday, December 18, 2008

Tiny Reindeer



American icon and Pulitzer prize winning author John Updike has put together a concise holiday volume entitled, "The Twelve Terrors of Christmas".
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Amongst the Twelve Terrors, he lists 'tiny reindeer'.
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The tiniest reindeer in the world exist on Deer Key on the outermost southern edge of America in the wilds of the Conch Republic. The remotely located Conch Republic does not consider itself part of America, and, it therefore not only makes up its own rules, the independent barrier reef of Conch Republic has no rules.
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Which is one of the reasons we love it so much.
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As one travels through the Republic by automobile, one is, however, admonished, "Do not run over one of the fucking miniature deer. You do not EVER want to do that here. Just remember: while you are here, it is better to kill a person than one of the fucking deer. Slow down to a crawl when on Deer Key. Remember that, and you'll be fine."
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As I read Updike's book today, I thought, "Ohmygod. And THIS is why we crept along at five miles an hour ?"
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In addition to their razor sharp toenails, tiny deer have "Fur possibly laden with disease bearing ticks."